Thursday, February 6, 2014

Sprinkle

11) Someone I miss

I'm always going to miss my Lolo and Lola(grandpa and grandma). Although I wasn't as close to them as I wished, I still miss them. Every time I visit them at the cemetery I always apologized for running away from them, for not talking to them and not be close to them. I still remember the day when my mother told me Lolo died and my brother who told me that Lola died. At that moment I felt guilty, ashamed and most of all sad. Sad because they died of course but sad at myself for not being close to them like my other cousins. I was so envious of my cousin, Caitlin, who was super close with my Lola. I even remember that night where I chose to stay at home to play a game with my friends instead of visiting my Lola at the hospital. I thought "she's going to get better and I can visit her anytime I want." I was so wrong and that ate me alive so much. I could have seen Lola before she died. I could have told her how much I regretted pushing her away and I wanted to start over our relationship. But I didn't. My Lolo was a different case. I was in grade three when he died and when my mother told me he passed away I cried. I cried because I didn't have a Lolo anymore(since my mother's dad passed away a long time ago). It was hard for me to connect with my Lolo because I don't think he spoke English. It was my Lola who always translated what he said to my cousins and I. Also that time Lolo was chronically sick. He would always be at the hospital. Man, do I regret not trying to salvage my relationship with my grandparents.

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